We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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