Ambien. No doubt about it.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
