Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I could fuck to npr.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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