it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize