If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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