It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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