This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
