Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
