Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize