Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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