why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize