I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
