I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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