and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
