She announced her abortion via fbk
well you can't waste a boner
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
