I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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