I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
A+ Viking dick
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
