So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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