Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
