Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize