The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Randomize
