Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
