if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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