It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
i believe in u and ur pee
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
