So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
