yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
