I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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