it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
