well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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