Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
