he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
