At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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