Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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