The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
