What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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