i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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