I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
