ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
