i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize