Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
