Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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