I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize