Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
