we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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