: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
