He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
