he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
