Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
