what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize