also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
