yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
