okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize