Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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