OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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