i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I am spending my child support on dildos
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
