It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
one might say we're banned from that church
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Enjoy the penises
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize