sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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