quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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