so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
