3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
they need to just BURY HIM!
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
