So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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