It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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