i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize