No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize