I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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