I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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