i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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