No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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