I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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