i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
The Olympian is in my bed
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize