If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
