So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
