Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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