Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
handjob tips. give me some.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
