Non-Jews are for practice
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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