I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
